Pirogue

[cport]

One or two light strokes per side until it gets moving decently, then you can dig in and start scooting pretty good.
It's funny too, the bottom is flat enough that it gets air pockets underneath when moving at top speed (which is maybe a whopping 2-2.5mph), and they sound like farts traveling the length of the hull.
It's a pooter scooter.

Sounds like you got it up to plane 

[SteelHorseCowboy]

Yep, sure did. Was paddling for all I was worth just to see how it handled!

But, bad news.
Not being one to leave well enough alone, I attempted to go ahead and add some short seat platforms and some braces.
I didn't think I added any sort of real stresses to the hull. I was cutting to fit, not fitting to the cut...
After one seat platform and two braces, I sat down for a smoke break and texted my lady to brag about how well it was going, and then I hear "craaaack... POW!"
Split the wood down half the length of one side and busted the seam where the side meets the bottom.
It's still all stuck together, but the upper half of the side is buckled in, and water just pours out of the seam.

I'm obviously not exactly a woodworker or shipwright. I do still have to at least PARTLY blame this on the warped and water damaged wood.

I'm getting discouraged here. I have one last idea I want to try. I can still MAYBE use this busted hull to at least help build a mold to make one (or more) entirely of fiberglass.

If that doesn't work, I'm taking a chainsaw to it, then selling the chainsaw and just buying a freaking canoe.

Seems it could have made more sense to just save up and do that to begin with, but after the first one was stolen I got the idea to try selling them since there's obviously a demand. After this mold making attempt, if it fails, it'll be more cost effective to sell the chainsaw I've cranked exactly once in the past three years and put that money elsewhere.

Always gotta do crap the hard way, and learn my lessons from the most vicious teacher: failure.

[SteelHorseCowboy]

Been working for government too long is the problem. Save a dime only to spend 5 dollars later to fix what you saved that dime on.

[TWBryan]

Well,I admire your persistence in any event. Had an old fiberglass canoe I sold I think 17-18 ft long and weighed about as much as I do. I would love an air-weight canoe about 12 ft long.I've heard they make them from aramid and they weigh about 30lbs.