Laughter is the Best Medicine (Mature Content Possible)

[Lipripper]

A south Alabama farmer dies and, being a heathen, goes to Hell. When
he gets there it's 95* with 90% humidity, but Satan notices he's kicked
back on the brimstone relaxing comfortably.
He asks, "Why aren't you miserable like everyone else here?" The
farmer replies, "Oh, this is like a warm Spring day in south 'Bama.
I like it."
Angry, Satan turns up the thermostat until it's 100* and 95%
humidity. Still, the farmer's happy. "This is like a good June day on the
farm. Not bad at all."
Furious, Satan turns it up to 105* and 99% humidity. Everyone is
even more miserable, except the south Alabama farmer still laying there resting. "Hey, this is like a good August day on the farm bailing hay. Feels good. The hotter the better."
In a total rage, Satan turns the thermostat down to minus 25*F.
Within seconds, the air becomes chilly and frost appears, soon followed by solid ice everywhere.
Satan smirks, watching the farmer.
The confused farmer looks down at the frozen ground for a moment,
suddenly jumps up, looks around everywhere and begins to laugh...
"AUBURN MUST HAVE WON A NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP”!!!

[PiscMonkey]

Living Will

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, " I never want to live in a vegetative state,dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug".

She got up and unplugged the TV and threw out my beer.

She's such a  .........

 

[PiscMonkey]

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he
tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop, right on his twitchylittle
nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip
over you, but I'm blind and can't see."
"That's perfectly all right,"replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind ofanimal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out."
So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft,
and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a
dear twitchy little nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!
" The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. But by the way, what kind of animal are you?"
The snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine
him, and when the bunny was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of
an animal am I?"
The bunny had felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're soft, you're cold, you're slippery, and you haven't got any balls ...You must be a politician.....

 

[clubber]

STAY!!!!
>
>I pulled into the crowded parking lot at the Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center
>and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador Retriever Pup had
>fresh air.
>
>
>
>She was stretched full-out on the back seat and I wanted to impress upon
>her that she must remain there! I walked to the curb backward,
>pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do
>you hear me?"
>"Stay! Stay!"
>
>The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady, gave me a strange
>look and said,
>
>
>
>"Why don't you just put it in park?"

[Kal-Kevin]

This thread is now closed, and new thread has been started so please stop by there and post some new joke for us to read.

Laughter is the Best Medicine 2 (Mature Content Possible)


Kal